by Tina Portelli
As she viewed herself in the mirror, she could see the inevitable reflection staring back. Was it bad lighting? Or was she finally being awakened to her aging?. Her once smooth face was now lined with leftover worry of the past few years. Her losses, her disappointments were etched in her face. Thinning hair left her weak in the knees. The damage was done. Not even the most skilled surgeon could give her back her youth. No one could.
When she smiled, her eyes got very small, beady. She was curious about this new look. When did her face start to change and why hadn’t she noticed it before. No one ever mentioned it to her. And hadn’t she purchased the most expensive make-up, didn’t she watch what she ate, take her vitamins, drink her water, exercise? Was it all for naught?
And, it wasn’t just her face, it was her body too. Still thin, gravity had lowered the position of her breasts, and her thighs had more meat than usual. Working out wasn’t working anymore. For fifty-eight she still looked good, but knew the seasons were against her. In a few years she would not recognize herself.
The thought frighten her. There were two choices to be made. Acceptance or denial. Denial would cause more pain, that much she knew. To accept it would be the brave thing to do.
How could she make aging work for her? The answer would be found in indifference. She would have to learn to be indifferent about her looks and rely on her inner self. Her other qualities would have to sustain her till death. Her energy would now be targeted toward more substantial and realistic goals.
She would go back to school, learn new things and be a help to others in more important matters. Her priorities would have to change. She'd ignore society telling the lie about beauty and youth that we must hold on to it. Impossible. Better to let go, practice of non-attachment.
The gravity bottom line she learned was that looks don’t really matter in the end, and only realistic middle age women might admit it, if just for a reflective moment.
Tina says, "I am 54, single and live in Brooklyn, NY. I work in Manhattan as a full time office manager. My writing is a newly found passionate hobby. I get my ideas from personal experiences and the adventures of family and friends. I have never taken a writing class, but three years ago I started practicing meditation. I attribute my newfound passion of writing to that practice, meditation gave me a clear and open mind. No better friend than the soul of my pen." Contact Tina.