by Tina Portelli

This morning as I started to come awake, I fought it, I wanted to stay sleeping.  I was in the midst of a dream about Dolores. Dolores was my best friend and a victim of September 11th. Her office faced impact on the ninety-second floor of the first tower.  There were no survivors or bodies to be found from that floor.  The only remnant found in a pile of rubble was her credit card.

The dream was as real as anything real.   I know I spent time with her.  We were having a conversation and I didn't want it to end.  I remember she seemed distracted, sad and somber.  As we sat in a rose garden, I was eagerly trying to convince her that it was a good thing she was back here with me, and not a victim of 9/11. I told her she had only been away for awhile, missing, and now she was back.  She did not resume her previous lifestyle of being married and living in the suburbs of Long Island with Eric. Instead she was now living at home with her mother in Brooklyn.

Dolores seemed despondent and  disappointed about something.  I tried to pry it out of her with no luck.  Then I tried to cheer her up.

Holding her delicate hand, I remember whispering, "You should be happy to be here, you are alive, you can't imagine the number of people that were destroyed thinking  you were gone forever.  Letters, tributes, everything.  You are very loved.  I am sure you can even get your old job back."

She said she didn't think so, but I assured her if not that job, that Fred, her boss, would surely hook her up someplace.  I told her how I was looking forward to going out with her on weekends just like we used to as teenagers.

Then I woke up,  realizing it was in fact a dream.  But, I know what  her real thoughts were and why she seemed "not to be herself." She knew how it all turned out, life after she left. She knows. Her husband found a girlfriend, in no time at all.

Dolores was a victim of 9/11,  is  never coming back, and that is no dream.

Tina says: "I am 54, single and live in Brooklyn, NY.  I work in Manhatthan as a full time office manager.  My writing is a newly found passionate hobby. I get my ideas from personal experiences and the adventures of family and friends.  I have never taken a writing class, but three years ago I started practicing meditation.   I attribute my newfound passion of writing to that practice, meditation gave me a clear and open mind.  No better friend than the soul of my pen." Contact Tina.