Humorosity #36 by Honeydew Zubari

JOURNALLING MADE PAINLESS, 101

(Humorosity #36)

by Honeydew Zubari

I was planning to write an article about journaling this month, but got distracted. Distraction…a danger to all writers. The shark fin lurking in the murky waters of our brains. Not that shark fins exactly fit as an analogy, but I thought the line sounded pretty good, didn’t you?

Okay, anyhow.

Every day I have to ask myself, “Honeydew, do you get easily distracted because you’re a writer and as such notice the smallest details of every single thing around you? Or is it time to get back on the Ritalin?” The scary thing is I often answer back in a sassy tone that I absolutely won’t stand from myself, so you just know an argument is in the offing.

Ahem.

As I sit here working on what should have been chit-chat about the pros of journaling, I keep hearing the little adjust-bar thingy on the Venetian blinds clicking. The windows are open and it’s a lovely day, but that persistent “click (long pause) click” is worse than water torture. Oh great. Mr. Man-who-mows-the-lawn-daily is out there with his weed trimmer. I’m serious! He’s a nice person, retired and in desperate need of a hobby. This is how he starts a four-hour marathon of manic lawn care. Four hours, heaven help me. How mowed can grass be?

Right. I was making a list of ways to fight distraction while writing. But you know what? Why fight it? Go with the flow and peace be with you. Your mind is trying to show you some hidden truths, or else that wad of dust in the corner really did move in a scuttling-fashion. Time to write a poem about nature as you phone the exterminator. Some nature is better off dead.

That reminds me! The other morning I woke up with a huge spider crawling up my neck and across my cheek. I thought my boyfriend was being romantic until the creature stuck a leg up my nose. I sent it flying and heard it hit the nightstand with a “whump,” a noise too big for a spider to make. Now I’m scared to reach under the bed for those new sandals I bought to wear when sunny weather finally arrived. But you probably don’t care. So what if she has a tarantula lurking under her bed? They aren’t too poisonous.

The best thing to do with distractions is to flip to a clean page of your notebook or open a fresh document and write them all down. Then save it and go back to what you were originally doing. Although, if what you were doing isn’t captivating enough to keep your attention, maybe you should go with a distraction instead.

I’ve read that the best way to stop writer’s block is to sit for five minutes and type whatever pops into your head, stream of consciousness-like. Basically, that’s how I write everything. Don’t tell. And my point was? Um…darn. Lost it.

A friend has talked me into drinking asparagus juice every day. I must say it’s invigorating and not half as gross as you might expect. What will they think up next? A tomato-based mixed vegetable juice? (Ha! That was a joke, folks. Please save the letters telling me about V-8.)

Anyway, the birdies are calling me to come out and play. About time I put a little color in my cheeks. Can’t go around looking like a mushroom person past Memorial Day, that won’t do at all.

Your homework: Write a list of ten distractions, making every effort to get distracted while doing it. If, around number three you feel like taking a nap, that would be excellent. Throw the list in a drawer and come back to it next year. When the list is complete, tack it to the wall by your computer so you have something to stare at when you need a distraction. See how it works?